Book - Courting Miss Lancaster - Sarah M. Eden

 

Courting Miss Lancaster by Sarah M. Eden
My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I thought it was a cute story but, there were moments where I almost didn't finish it. Adam's best friend Harry is in love with Persephone's sister Athena. He can't court her though because he's poor and doesn't want to be seen as a gold digger so, he finds men for her to meet who aren't good enough for her hoping she turns them all down. A bunch of interesting stuff happens but I'm not going to spoil it. 

Hmm what to read next... 

Dinner and Some Library Apps

 

mmm poke bowl

 

It's so humid and warm where I live. None of us wanted to cook dinner so the middle kid said we should go get poke bowls. Her treat. I offered to buy us some drinks from the 7-11 nearby. She said we should be drinking water... I know she's right so water it is. 

I need to find a new book to read. Lately I browse the library apps but it's so overwhelming. There are so many options. My partner suggested Dungeon Crawler Carl. It's on hold on Libby. It's popular so the hold is going to be awhile. Barnes and Noble used to have an app where you would enter the books you've read, what you're looking for, and it would suggest some books to check out. I miss that app. I think it was called Readly. 

Anyway, I don't have much going on today. I'm trying to baby my knee, keep it elevated and ice it a few times a day. I don't know if it will help but it feels good at the time so I keep doing it. 

I'm going to focus on this poke bowl. Bye Universe! 

Book - Seeking Persephone - Sarah M. Eden

 

Seeking Persephone by Sarah M. Eden
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I thought this was a cute story. It had a Beauty and the Beast vibe to it. There's a duke who is the last in his family line. He's a grouchy sort who won't let anyone get close to him, and he doesn't think any woman would love him. He has scars on his face, and has been emotionally abandoned by his mother over it. His solicitor or accountant or something tells him that he can find a nice, poor girl from a nice family and arrange a marriage. He thinks, why not. He assumes she'll be ugly if she's still single, and desperate since they're looking for a poor girl whose family would appreciate the money offered for the marriage. What he didn't expect was Persephone. 

I'm being distracted by my dog and I don't feel like editing the previous paragraph. Anyway a lot of stuff happens, and the story is good. It seems to be part of a series so I'll see what the next book is about but I'll probably read something else. I like stretching out a series so they last awhile. 

I have a knee that is having issues, and I seem to be reading more during my downtime. Maybe I'll hit my 20 book goal for the year!

Book - The Lantern Men - Elly Griffiths

 

The Lantern Men by Elly Griffiths
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is the twelfth book of the Ruth Galloway series. I've always loved these books. The mysteries and crimes are really intriguing but my favorite parts are the back stories on all of the main regular characters. Ruth, Nelson, Judy, Cathbad, and the rest of the usual group. I think I'll read something from a different series next. There are only three books left in this one and I don't want it to be over just yet. 

I'll write a more personal entry another time.  

Book - Theo of Golden by Allen Levi

Theo of Golden by Allen Levi
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This was a beautiful story. I think I cried six times. *Hugs* to whoever reads it and needs one.

I think it was the end of the 7th or 8th chapter, that I first cried. The scene with Minette was so heartfelt. I had to put the book down for a few days before I picked it up again. I wanted to think about what was said, and what the scene meant. 

I could point out several scenes that touched me but this is a book that needs to be read and experienced. I know I'm someone that feels things deeply, so not everyone will get the same experience, which makes me kind of sad. Anyway if anyone still reads this, I highly recommend this novel. 

Quick Update + Book Review: Lacy Williams - Cowboy Pride

It's funny. I've been wanting to post on here for the past few months but, I get so side tracked. Also, I look back at older posts and kind of wish I could start all over. At the same time, I like that it's all there. It's embarrassing and kind of cringy how upset I would get over things that don't matter now. For half of the situations I was in, I don't remember who else was in them.

I know a lot of people have forgotten that Blogger existed, and there's a reason. It changed. There are no longer blog rolls. You used to be able to click to a random one and see what anyone else was writing or going through or sharing. I miss that. Another reason is, people look down on it because it's free, and there isn't a lot of customizing. I get that. I've never been an elitists though. I've had this blog since before it was taken over by Google. I enjoy how it works, the formatting, and how easy it is to jump back into. 

I ditched this for all of the other social medias. Then I kind of got lost in the crowd because I never really put myself out there. I still don't. A lot of people are going through some nostalgia of when the internet was different. I am too. I miss old websites. I miss old blog communities. I miss Flash games and when Youtube had response videos and communities. I miss all of that stuff. I know it's not coming back but, I can't help but want to reclaim what was, because I really don't like how things are. I don't have a TikTok. It's never appealed to me. The few communities I'm in, people have gotten mean and nasty. Not towards me but in general. So I think I'm going to just put stuff into the void again. 

I hope Blogger doesn't disappear for awhile like everything else has. Until then I'll try to update when I can. 

I'm still reading, only not as much as I used to. I started crocheting again. I pulled some projects out of the closet (again) and just finished one that I had started 14 or so years ago. It's a cozy granny square afghan. I love it. I write in my physical journal a few times a week. I made the journal out of an old book and some hand bound signatures. Not a lot has changed but in some ways it has. I'm good :)

I write this all the time but I'll try to post more often. Last time I posted was last year :x I'll try to be a bit more consistent 😃 

 

Cowboy Pride by Lacy Williams
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I've never read Pride and Prejudice so I don't have any comparison except for what I see in pop culture and trailers. I thought this was a cute story. It's been re-edited so I didn't see all of the errors that everyone else did. I enjoyed this. So far I'm liking this series.

View all my reviews

I Love January

 It's a new year. Last year sucked so after today I'm going to leave it behind me. I meant to write this yesterday... 

My mom passed in November. It still hasn't really hit me. I don't know if it will but, it was all so surreal. I woke up, went upstairs to give her a package, and she was gone. No illness. No event. No situation. She was just gone. I feel like I woke up that day, and nothing's been the same since. Like my life isn't really my life. I'm in a weird version of it... I think being in a new year will give me some closure.

Today is my new reality. I don't really have any resolutions but my plans are to finish school and get a good job. Maintain my living situation, and try to improve it. I'm feeling anxious about it. We're a month behind on rent. We'll figure things out. I have a small savings that I can use for bills and rent but it will only last a few months. I need to think of ways to make money while finishing school. So far my plan is to take things day by day, and do what I need to do for that day. Everything else in my life is okay. I just need to do this one thing.

The Perils of Reading Too Quickly

A book title came across my recommended feed on a book app. I read it quickly. I thought it said, I Love Disco, and was kind of like, what?! I need to check this out! I still love disco! Turned out the title was wrong and now I'm disappointed. I kind of think now that I need to write a book called I Love Disco.

Honestly? It kind of freaked me out how quickly I came to that conclusion. I haven't done any serious writing in so long. When I did, I didn't do anything with it. I feel like the part of me that's a writer, is no longer with me. She got bored and left. I liked her. I miss her. 

In Retrospect

2-5-24

I was looking at older entries and, not a whole lot has changed. It's disappointing. It makes me sad, angry, frustrated. I feel like my whole life has been me trying to fix my sleep, dealing with anxiety, starting projects I've never finished, dating emotionally unavailable guys, and restarting my life over and over. I'm so glad I have therapy this week!

I think I'm living a better life than I have before. But it seems I'm reliving the same memories over and over again. How do I break this cycle and come out with something different? The anxiety and sleep issues, I don't think, can be helped. I've had them all my life. The difference is, I'm better than I was. I'm no longer stuck in the house when I don't want to be. I haven't been to the ER in awhile with a panic attack. I've been able to relax and manage them myself. My sleep has periods where it will be normal, but unless I have some structure, I can't maintain it. I'm working on that.

Projects I've never finished... I'll start a project, be super excited about it, and then, when it's mostly done, I seem to lose interest. I was cleaning my closet a bit a few weeks ago and found FOUR crochet projects I hadn't finished. Two, were for my fiance who passed, so that's understandable. One was for my older sister who passed. I picked that back up when my fiance passed to keep myself occupied. I did everything but one row, and then the edging. I need to finish that, even if it's just to fold it up and put it away for future gifts. I'll start tomorrow, and maybe listen to an audio book. 

UPDATE 2-26-24:

That was written on February 5th. I never took out the crochet projects. I did start listening to an audio book but didn't like the narrator so I went back to reading. 

I spoke to my therapist about what was bothering me. She told me that even though the territory feels the same, I'm not in the same place. She started listing how I've grown considering what I went through with my late fiance. His mental illness, suicide attempts, hospitalizations, irrational behavior, then his passing. She told me that since he passed, I started school, let someone new into my heart, knew how to heal myself emotionally, built new habits... She reminded me that my anxiety used to be so bad that I would have to call in my appointments, and that now, I'm driving around town by myself, walking the neighborhood, letting my heart race when I work out. I used to be terrified of everything. 

In the past year, I feel I've gotten a lot stronger, and I hold back a lot less. I'm speaking my mind more, and telling people how I feel and what I think. I'll always be me, in my core. But I want to be a better me. It's nice to know that I'm on the right course.

What She's Doing Now

I keep meaning to update this. I did write a few times but never posted the entries. 

I wrote when I was excited about starting school. I'm taking a college course for IT Support! It's something I've wanted to do since my 30s, but my son needed 100% of my attention at the time. Here I am, almost 20 years later, going for it. It's not easy. I had to relearn how to study, how to time manage, how to participate in a learning community... I still get stuck sometimes. I recently finished a resume assignment that had me feeling so overwhelmed. I did my best and got a good grade on it. I'm proud of myself.

I wrote when I was going through a break up. I don't do well with endings. I never have. I was seeing someone for a bit. I'll call him MW. Though it was long distance, and we had some things working against us, I took it really hard when things ended. I was having a good time and just going with it. Things seemed to be going great. Then, it ended. Honestly, I don't think I ever got over it. We're friends, and though we've had a few bumps, we have a good relationship. I'm glad he's in my life. 

I wrote when my brother died. I had an older half brother, Joe, that I lost touch with when I was 9. He was about to have surgery and our other brother got in touch with me to tell me to call Joe because I might not have that chance again. I was anxious, worried he wouldn't want to speak to me for whatever reason, because he hadn't tried to get in touch with me all those years. I called and he was so happy to hear from me. We talked for a week. They were waiting to see if an infection would heal before doing his surgery. He went through the surgery, survived it, but then something happened and he was gone. I'm grateful for the chance to get to know him again. I wish he could have stayed around longer. 

I wrote when I needed to vent. Family issues, other things that bothered me or I needed to get out in words.

I wrote good things too. Good news, things people say that made me happy, random thoughts... I just never posted them. I wrote a few times in my paper journal that I carry in my purse. Writing settles me. It grounds me. It helps me organize my thoughts. It helps me express my feelings, and put out there the things I don't say with my voice. I have a lot on my mind. Sometimes, I need to purge it. Get it all out so I can have room for better things. Better ideas. Better memories. 

I'm still around. Still writing. Still sleeping badly, reading books, gaming, falling in love, wanting better things for myself, procrastinating, treating people the way I want to be treated, having anxiety attacks... I'm still here :)

• Listening to: whatever the Spotify AI DJ wants to play for me
  
• Reading: John Connolly - Black Angel
  
• Watching: Cold Case
  
• Playing: Palia, Halo, Solitaire, Crossword Puzzles
  
• Eating: a good, portion controlled diet
  
• Drinking:Earl Grey tea