Talulah's Virtual Junk Drawer: 2023

Wednesday, April 12, 2023

Reading Challenge - No Home for Killers

No Home for Killers by E.A. Aymar
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

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Thursday, March 16, 2023

I Need A Menu App!

(I actually wrote this a few days ago and forgot to finish it.)

I'm doing well. I'm finally getting enough sleep. Sleep is crucial to everything else I want to do and how I want to feel. I wish my anxiety didn't steal it away from me so often. I'm working on it!

Tonight, I made eggplant Parmesan again. This is the third time I've made it and my family isn't tired of it yet. They're a picky bunch.

I'm on the lookout for a useful menu planning system. I think I've mentioned this before... I'm looking for something where I can keep track of what recipes I've tried that the family likes, and come up with a grocery shopping list to use along with it. I've tried using Notion but I couldn't figure out how to make it do what I want, and I don't know programming. There is an Android app called Supercook that will tell you what you can cook based on what you have in your pantry, fridge and freezer. I love that one for the end of a pay period when I'm running low on funds. I'm looking for something different.

When I was a kid, my mom would buy women's magazines every month. Women's Day, Family Circle, First, Women's World. There was one that had a new menu and recipes for every month. It would have the menu on a calendar, and then tell you which page the recipe was on. I would LOVE if that were a thing again. I've checked the current magazines and websites and there's nothing like that anywhere. I did find a few that were online on Archive.org.

It's interesting. In the 70's, one woman's magazine would have around 15 cigarette ads geared towards women...

This was the AI art generation for "pi".

Wednesday, March 1, 2023

snap

Yesterday, I had the worst panic attack I've had in years. I was in bed trying to fall asleep when my heart started racing. I could feel it pounding and I couldn't figure out why it was happening. I know I stayed up longer than I was should have. I did have a few chocolate covered almonds but that wasn't enough to give me a caffeine boost. It was mostly almonds. Maybe I've been using too much rosemary in my hair. Maybe there was something in the burrito I had that caused a reaction. Maybe I should have went for that walk earlier in the day. Is my blood sugar too high? Maybe this time, it really was a heart attack.

My Nothing Day

Today was a nothing day. It wasn't a bad day. I was simply enjoying doing nothing. Nothing was needed or asked of me. I'll do stuff tomorrow :)

Sunday, February 26, 2023

The Stop Holding Yourself Back Challenge - notes

I finished the Stop Holding Yourself Back challenge and I have to say, it was empowering. I already mentioned what the first day was about, imagining your future self and claiming your future. Here are some of my notes from the sessions.

On Day 2, you focus on toxic habits. It wasn't about habits that you're NOT doing, but what you do that's not good for you. It was defined as "anything in your life that you are doing regularly that's keeping you from becoming the person that you want to become in your vision". Anything that steals your time, your focus, your energy. For me, it's being on the computer too long, drinking more coffee than water, letting fear win, eating bad foods, procrastinating and gaming too much. I knew this and I've been working on it but I need to check myself now and then. The session ended with deep breathing, and these affirmations repeated three times. "I am ready. I am worthy. I am powerful. I deserve this life." I AM.

Future Me

I've been trying to fix my sleep again. I swear, I can only maintain a decent sleep schedule for at most a month. It sucks because I know this is the key to everything else. Good health. A better mood. Decent blood sugar numbers. So, here we are again. I know... it's 2:30am. But it's earlier than I've been falling asleep lately. And I bet there are a "million" previous posts about this very topic. Sorry, Universe.

I use Insight Timer. It's a meditation app. They have challenges now and then. Currently there's a challenge called the Stop Holding Yourself Back Challenge. It's supposed to help you figure out what stops you from reaching your potential, and work on eliminating it. It's really cool because there's a lot of imagery involved. You also get to have a conversation with your future self. I'm totally into it.

My future self is thinner, obviously. She writes. She has a really nice kitchen. She has this amazing husband who adores her. They have a dog and some other pets. There are more details but you get the idea. Life is good. You're supposed to do this imagery long enough to feel it deeply. Then you're supposed to ask your future self what habit would be most important to getting to be her. I think the question was, "What is one practical thing I can do to be you, my future self?" Since she's me, it wasn't simple. She pretty much told me to do whatever it is I'm afraid of. But to start, fix my sleep. She's right.

I have to ask myself, if fixing my sleep was the only way to get what I wanted, wouldn't it be worth it? Then why am I not doing it?!

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I played with a few AI sites again earlier. I asked chatGPT to write me a short story in the style of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. It was good. I think when I run out of stuff to read, or I just want a short story, I'll do that. A story written just for me, by artificial intelligence :) I love living in these times! I'm going to post that story after the jump break.

AI-Generated Images and chatGPT - 1

I'm playing around with AI generated art tonight. Night Cafe has made single creation AI available for free :D Now I can play around with it and not waste credits, but instead use them to enhance the creations I like the most. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with what I create. Right now I'm only having fun with it. Maybe I can find a way to make money with it. I'm looking into it. Hmm I should ask chatGPT for ideas. That seems to be the thing right now.

Here's an image I created tonight.

I asked chatGPT about making money with AI generated images. This was it's response:

There are many potential uses for AI-created images beyond NFTs. Here are a few ideas:

Use them for marketing and advertising materials: AI-generated images can be used to create unique and eye-catching graphics for social media, websites, and other marketing materials. This can help your brand stand out and differentiate itself from competitors.
Use them for research and scientific purposes: AI-generated images can be used in scientific research to help visualize complex data and phenomena. For example, they can be used in medical research to study the effects of various treatments or in environmental research to visualize changes in landscapes and ecosystems.
Use them for video game development: AI-generated images can be used in video game development to create unique characters, landscapes, and environments. This can help game developers create more immersive and engaging games.
Use them for art and design: AI-generated images can be used as a starting point for art and design projects. Artists and designers can use the images as inspiration or as a base to build upon to create their own unique works.
Use them for educational purposes: AI-generated images can be used in educational materials to help illustrate concepts and ideas in a more engaging and interactive way. They can be used in textbooks, online courses, and other educational materials.

These are just a few examples of how AI-generated images can be used. The possibilities are truly endless, and as AI technology continues to develop, we are likely to see even more exciting and innovative applications emerge.

Very interesting :D

Monday, February 13, 2023

Journaling

Hi. I know, it's been awhile. I'm fine. I didn't think I would be but I am. I miss my fiance every day, but I've reached the point of acceptance. I'm telling you, those steps of grief... Some were killers. I'm doing better. I had a lot of support. I also know myself. I knew that I needed routines to get me out of bed and see me through everything I was going through. I found this great app called The Fabulous. It's a habit tracker type app that teaches you how to maintain habits by taking small steps to achieve them. There's advice, challenges and a community. I don't know if I would have made it through without it.

I got back into therapy. It's been good. My therapist turned out to be the first therapist I've had, from 94, when my panic attacks first started. I mostly go to ground myself, touch base, and get some feedback on stuff I've been working on. Most of last year was spent grieving. I'm still not sure what to do with his ashes but, I don't think I could hold onto them forever. Besides, I already have some in a pendant. Maybe I'll take them to the beach when the warm weather comes.

This year, I've been doing a lot of self-care, building routines, writing. I wrote some in my LiveJournal. I hadn't written anything there since 2013. It's interesting to me because I used to write there daily. I have a paper journal but I only write in it when I'm bored somewhere, waiting on something. Even then, I'll usually pull out my Kindle first and read. I missed blogging. I know blogging has changed, evolved, become "purposeful". Even blogging culture has changed. At one time, everyone had RSS feed apps they would tune in to to read the latest posts of whoever they were interested in on whatever topics. Now it's all about tik-tok and Instagram. I'm a woman of simple needs and tastes.

I liked simply putting my thoughts and feelings out there into the Universe. I liked purging what I was feeling. Looking back at some of the entries, I would write when I was feeling something deeply. Lately I'm feeling hmm discomfort. I've been doing some work on myself that takes me out of my comfort zone. It would be so easy to fall back on old habits and be complacent. So easy. I really don't want to do that though. I want to push through to whatever is on the other side of these feelings. I don't know if anything will change significantly. I do know that I need some change. I need to look back on my life and not see the same things every day. It's time.

I asked chatGPT for some journal prompts for self-love and introspection. This is what she posted to me: (yes, she's a she to me.)

Write down five things you love about yourself and why they are important to you.
What is your self-care routine? How do you prioritize taking care of yourself?
Write a letter to yourself, acknowledging your strengths and past struggles.
What are your core values and beliefs? How do they shape your decisions and actions?
Reflect on a time when you showed yourself kindness and compassion. How did it impact your well-being?
Write about a moment of self-discovery. How did it change your perspective about yourself?
What are your fears and insecurities? How can you work through them to build self-confidence?
What are your passions and interests? How do they bring joy and fulfillment to your life?
Write a list of affirmations that promote self-love and self-acceptance. Repeat them daily.
Reflect on a time when you practiced self-forgiveness. How did it improve your mental and emotional state?

I think I'm going to refer to these, and other prompts now that I'm "journaling" daily. As much as I liked writing in my LJ, I think I'll come back here. This is comfortable to me, and feels more like home. Looking back, I think I've grown a lot. I also miss some of the attitude I used to have. Maybe I can somehow gain back some of that. We'll see.