A Purpose

When my son was young and going through his mental health issues, I put everything on hold to make sure he had everything he needed and then some. I thought, when he reached adulthood, and needed me less, I could start all over. I'd still be "young enough". I had things I wanted to do and places I wanted to see. I figured I'd start dating again and it would be different because I'd have the freedom to make different choices.
When my son moved out, and into the group home, that was right around the time that my mom needed me to move in and help with my younger nieces. She was their foster parent. Long story short, she wouldn't have been able to adopt them because of her age and a few other things going on. If they weren't adopted soon, they were going back into the system. I love the kids and I wanted them, so I co-adopted.

Worried

I haven't heard from Jett in a few days and I'm worried sick. He's been really sick lately, and not eating. I asked him to go to an Urgent Care if he didn't want to go to the ER, but he was trying to tough it out until his appointment this coming week. I can't help but think the worst. I was hoping he was getting better but, he's never not messaged me before like this. Not so abruptly or without telling me of any plans.

I know sitting here thinking isn't doing me any good but no matter what, he has always gotten to me. When his phone was dead, he got online. When his net was down, he texted. I've prayed. I don't know what else to do. I'll call him tomorrow if I don't hear anything from him. Maybe someone will pick up.

Update...
He's fine. I'm so relieved!

Book Challenge #3

February by Audrey Carlan

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


This book was a lot like the first in the series only... different love interest. It was an easy book to read, but I wasn't as into it as I was January. I hope they get better. I'm going to skip March until, well, March, and find something else to read.

I have so many books but nothing sounds interesting. I'll be checking the recommendations for something I like.

Book Challenge 1&2

The Vanished Man by Jeffery Deaver



At the beginning of the year, I joined a book reading challenge on Goodreads. My goal is to read 40 books during 2017. I used to read more, but I think 40 is a good number. I seem to have lost my focus to sit and read for hours on end.

The Vanished Man is the 5th book in the Lincoln Rhyme series, written by Jeffery Deaver. I discovered the series after a friend recommended I watch The Bone Collector. It's a thriller, and featured Angelina Jolie and Denzel Washington. When I saw in the credits that it was based on a book, I had to read it, and I loved it. Each book has a lot of detail about forensics, subject matter. I don't read them one after the other. I like to sprinkle in some light reading and other stuff to make the series last longer. That brings me to the second book in the challenge.

January by Audrey Carlan

 My friend Mona shared this with me. It was a quick, fun read, and part of a 12 month series, if you couldn't tell by the title.

This story was about a girl named Mia whose father owed a bookie 1 million dollars. She ends up being a high paid escort, having to spend a month with different men. I know... not exactly plausible.

The first guy she meets is a studly guy named Wes. Lots of sex happens. She gets to dress up in expensive clothes that she gets to keep. A lot of other stuff happens in the story.

Truth be told, I could probably leave off just reading this book in the series. The story ended well, with a cliff hanger that I don't need to drudge through "the year" to finish. I'm sure I'll read the rest though, in between heavier novels.

The question now is, which to read next? I joined a book challenge group that has a list of ideas to go through. It's based off of this list I found on POPSUGAR. I don't need to read them in order. I'm mostly using it as a guideline, and for ideas and to make my future book picks varied and fun. I'm going to check the Goodread's group for this list, and see what I can find to read next :D

About Ready

In case anyone is curious, my mom complained as soon as she saw the casserole. Apparently it's not done properly if you don't see the flecks of pepper all over the top. It was fine though. I was prepared for what was going to happen, already vented steam here, and answered with an "I'm sure it will come out better next time. This was a new recipe."

She and I have never seen eye to eye on most things, so I've had to learn to choose my battles. And honestly? I see her becoming senile and I know, most of the things she does, and the really bad decisions she makes are because of it. I know it's not going to get any better, and I really don't know what I'm going to do as it keeps getting worse. I can't even think about that just yet.

I have a lot on my mind lately. Family things. Relationship things. Life things. I don't know what to do about any of it. So, all I can do is "keep on keeping on", and hope that one day, things will fall into place. Keep working towards my goals. Keep saving money. Keep trying to be better, so I can be good enough...

I feel so lost and ungrounded right now, and I really don't have the time to feel this way. Not if I want to do the things I'm planning.

I think I'll make something to eat, and get under the blankets and watch 10 Things I Hate About You on Netflix.

Crazy-Making

Someone once described my mother as "crazy-making". As soon as I heard that term, I thought, "finally, someone gets it!".

She's been going on for the past few days about a tuna casserole she wants to make. I know my mother. As soon as she starts planning meals, I know I'm going to be the one cooking it. She doesn't like to stand for long, and she's cooked maybe, three times in the past year.

She went shopping earlier for her final ingredients, then comes home. She asks me to get her water boiling for her and add the pasta. I start working on a project with Jett because I think, "Maybe....she'll actually finish this dinner"... but, no. I'm focused on what I want to do, ready to dig into this project, and she yells down from upstairs, "The recipe is on the table. Just finish it for me".

Now, I know exactly what's going to happen. She's not satisfied with anything. She lives to complain. She's going to eat this casserole, and she's going to start, and it will be my fault. Yep. I am predicting this right now.

Not only will she complain, she'll complain because of things she's done to make it happen. I had everything ready to go to toss this into the oven and I ask where the cheese is. Turns out, she didn't buy the usual shredded cheese. She bought a block of cheese. The fun part? We don't have a cheese grater. I don't know what happened to it! It just disappeared a few months ago so I've been buying grated cheese.

*sighs* Crazy-making... The annoying part? I don't even eat regular pasta so I won't even be eating this meal! *bangs head on desk, then breathes*

I'm going to go stick this disaster in the oven and get back into this project.